It’s Time You Know The Truth

It's time you know the truth.

Maybe it's the two glasses of wine I've just had, maybe it's the feelings that have been deeply stirred by this weekend's events, maybe it's THAT story I shared on my insta which made my DM's start popping like wildfire. Or maybe. I'm growing up.

Cue panic music!

It's time I've got something off my chest.

I thought being a person who had nuanced thoughts and different ideas about a specific subject made me vanilla and whishy-washy. I thought it was a bad thing.

Surely someone like this could never make a change in the world, surely someone like this was not truly passionate about much, surely someone like this didn't know enough so it was better to just stay silent.

Weirdly, it had been drilled sooooooo much in me “she speaks too much in class” - always in my report card “platica mucho en clase."

How could I speak too much, and yet have no clear/ strong/ outspoken opinions about stuff?

(by stuff I mean, big things like war, abortion, politics, feminism, colonisation, climate change, etc)

I loved debate class. Comes in handy when you like to talk. The thing I didn't like was only being given the opportunity to debate one side of the argument. Here's where Hummingbird energy - the curious side of me - came to play. A sense of trying to understand all the angles without judgment. Even the most difficult ones.

I've tried very hard over the years to be likeable, being likeable means being accepted into the tribe. Being accepted into the tribe means you're safe.

BUT

SAFETY

IS

HOLDING

YOU

BACK

Ever since THAT story on insta - I've had the most meaningful conversations ever in my DMs and some have decided to unfollow my account.

And that feels A.MA.ZING. No joke.

To finally speak your truth, embracing your nuance-loving mind, and people you really love and respect reaching out saying -

“that's exactly how I feel!”

“you're reading my mind!”

“you're so brave”

“I wish I could say what's in my mind with such ease”

Let me be clear. The external validation feels really good. But the door that's been cracked open inside of me?

Ouuuuffffffffff - there are no words. That feels even better.

What do you want to be truly honest about?

Pain builds walls, healing builds doors.

Which door are you cracking open?