The Biggest Lie You’ve Been Told

As I learnt that my first born Maya, and the one who bears the name of the people that I seek to honour with the work that I do - would be going up a category in her judo career and participating against girls up to 3 years older than her and that strangles and armlocks would be allowed, my stomach turned into a tiny little knot of nerves.

Shit. If one those little fuckers strangles my kid…

Up until now, Maya was used to mostly winning. Getting the gold - being at the top.

Being the one.

Oh yes, that beautiful sense of validation that feels like a shot of morphine in the blood (I had back surgery a while back and that shot of morphine was like a cervical orgasm - not familiar? Stayed tuned.)

I digress.

Yesterday, she didn't get the gold.

And thankfully for the other girls - my inner mama bear was getting ready to pounce - she didn't get strangled (they tried though!).

But something happened. I'd never seen her so ecstatic and fulfilled with her performance.

“I've never been this happy about my results, even when I won the national championship last year” she said, carrying her bronze medal with pride.

And it dawned on me like a cold shower in the winter:

• The biggest lie we've been told is that in order to feel 100% worthy you have to be the one. Number one. The only one. Get a first at uni, win gold, be chosen, reach the top, have the most followers, sell the most, have the biggest launch…I'm calling time of death to that mentality today at 11:30am.

• Being in the arena with those that have more experience than you has a magical effect in the way you see yourself. As energy bodies, we calibrate to the possibility that actually you are as worthy as the next person to dream the dream, to learn and to become.

Who are you becoming?

The woman who allows herself to be in rooms with other women as an opportunity to grow? The woman who is here to share her gifts in the same capacity as she is to receive them from others?

Leave the comparison torture chamber behind and embrace your very special way of being in this world.