You are Not Alone Part II
Hola sublime First name / Goddess,
This is the part that blew my mind.
There is no logical explanation and you know what, as I sit here in front of the ocean hearing his waves come in and out with such prowess – I don’t need the ‘evidence’ because you know something is real when you feel it deep in your blood and bones.
I’ve caught some sort of stomach bug and without much food and mostly fresh coconut water in my system it all seems clearer than ever.
I’ll tell you why in a sec.
She’s moving.
Her feet are moving.
Thank fuck.
The scene of my 14yo lying unconscious on the judo mat begins to speed up and the image of the jaguar dissipates. She slowly lifts her head up and my heart recovers.
As she’s taken to the medical tent I make my way there – I’m wearing my upcycled kimono with my eagle earrings – so I move through the crowds like a witch, barely touching the ground at the speed of light.
I arrive at the tent and see her lying there with a huge red mark across her face and chest – and I crumble and cry again. And so does she.
Between laughing and crying, she proceeds to tell me what, or rather who, she saw in unconscious dream.
Mama, this is the most profound experience of my life.
I knew I had to tap out but it was too late.
It felt like a dream, a very long dream. Flooded with hues of green, emerald, lime, deep forest light everywhere – and at a distance I could hear music from old records playing…
A saw a silhouette – it was a woman, at first, I thought it was cha-cha (gramma) but then I saw her turn slowly and her profile was not hers.
It was my great gramma – Abuelita Bertha and she smiled. She turned away and I woke up.
Now, I cannot even begin to tell you how fucking incredible it felt in my body to hear this. Partly, because these experiences change the way you see yourself in this world – like you’re 100% not alone! And to tap into your inner world is nothing short of MAGIC.
But also, because I’ve often questioned if all these things I feel so fired up by, ancestry, generational joy (yep, coining that now), ritual, ceremony and adornment are all a little…
Well…
Bullshit-y.
Thing is, I realise now that’s my invitation to you.
How woo are you willing to go to live a life that turns you on?
Can you allow your inner cynic to take a seat at the bus, but not the driver’s seat?
Are you available for experiences that cannot be explained by science and still believe they’re your truth?
Maya’s experience was the neon sign I didn’t know I wanted – it was my permission slip.
To be.
Do you want to be all of you?
IN JOY, POWER + SPIRIT
x
Caro
P. S. My one wish for you today and every day is that you continue to play, create, sing and dance.
And as we move to another year in the Gregorian calendar, I'm excited to explore another way of tracking time. The Mayan calendar. I'll be in ceremony over the coming weeks in Tikal. Excitement doesn't even begin to describe it.
To be honest, doesn't matter when in the year we do things - what matters is that you do them.
